"You are the juicy bone, I am the dog."

I should probably point out that this, tonight's best Jamieism, followed "Sopranos, I'm going to come back to that." :-)

Lots of carols tonight, although very few of them all the way through. We were joined by the HYC, who we've not seen for ages. They still seem to like to sing behind the beat most of the time, but then so do most of the adult choir! And I was unsurprised (but disappointed) that the notes that the altos have got wrong every year in living memory are STILL wrong, and I expect they'll be wrong in the concert, although I'd love it if they weren't. (I'm talking about the infamous note in We Wish You A Merry Christmas (p167, bar 47, first note) and White Christmas (page 4, last bar). Argh! (The singing behind the beat thing was particularly bad tonight. There was an alto near me who was almost a full beat behind, almost all the way through almost every piece. It's really difficult to sing in time when you have that in your ear. (She was by no means the only one, but she was the loudest one near me.))

Other Jamieisms: "Otherwise you sound like the Swedish Station Radio Choir... is there such a thing?"
"Sopranos, you shouldn't all go wrong on the same note! I'm always curious about a soprano section that does that. It seems bizarre. And unlikely."

Oh, and if you are a new member of the choir, and no-one has told you about the following 3 aspects of the carol concerts:

• tinsel and glitter
• silly hats
• clapping in Sleigh Ride

you should probably ask someone!

To change the subject completely, have you all seen this video? It's doing the rounds of the internet, and shows stupid drivers in Manchester city centre (Cross Street, to be specific). It explains why signs have now been put up there saying "no tailgating"!

And finally, some entertainment for you. I did these two Christmas lyrics quizzes a couple of years ago and just found them while I was looking for something else. Test yourself - leave your answers in the comments if you like, or email me if you prefer. I'll post the answers in a few days :-)

25 Christmas carols

1. And man, at war with man, hears not the love song which they bring // O hush the noise, ye men of strife, and hear the angels sing.
2. The dark night wakes, the glory breaks, and Christmas comes once more.
3. Far away silent he lay // Born today, your homage pay
4. Go it while you're young // Take the girls tonight
5. O that we were there, O that we were there!
6. Fails my heart, I know not how; I can go no longer.
7. So he gave the word to slay // And slew the little childer
8. Jouez hautbois, résonnez musettes
9. And we won't go till we've got some, so bring some out here
10. And God bless you, and send you a happy New Year
11. Sing, choirs of angels, sing in exultation
12. And all the bells on earth shall ring on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
13. Born to raise the sons of earth // Born to give them second birth.
14. Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying // Sealed in the stone-cold tomb
15. His men of might, in his own sight // All young children to slay
16. Goodwill henceforth from heaven to men begin and never cease
17. Who is there that singeth so?
18. May you beautifully rime your evetime song, ye singers
19. From the dread caverns of the grave // From nether hell, thy people save.
20. All out of darkness we have light // Which made the angels sing this night
21. What can I give him, poor as I am? // If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb
22. Glories stream from heaven afar // Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia
23. Most highly favoured lady, Gloria!
24. God go with you, God protect you // Guide you safely through the wild
25. And a cold frosty morning

... and 40 Christmas songs

1. They said there'd be snow at Christmas // They said there'd be peace on Earth // Alleluia, Noël, be it Heaven or Hell // The Christmas we get, we deserve.
2. I just break down as I look around and the only things I see // are emptiness and loneliness and an unlit Christmas tree
3. Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
4. I'll protect you from the hooded claw // Keep the vampires from your door
5. You took my dreams from me when I first found you // I kept them with me babe. I put them with my own
6. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good, for goodness' sake!
7. Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow
8: Does your granny always tell you that the old songs are the best?
9. He'll say "are you married?" - we'll say "no, man! But you can do the job while you're in town!"
10. Trumpets sound and angels sing - listen to what they say // That man will live for evermore because of Christmas Day.
11. M is for the Mistletoe where every one is kissed
12. Children gaze open-mouthed, taken by surprise // Nobody down below believes their eyes.
13. And he only paused a moment when he heard him holler "stop!"
14. Friends and relations send salutations // Sure as the stars shine above
15. It seems so long since I could say "Sister Susie sitting on a thistle!" // Gosh, oh gee - how happy I'd be if I could only whistle!
16. Let's take that road before us and sing a chorus or two
17. But if you'll really hold me tight // All the way home I'll be warm!
18. Think of all the fun I've missed // Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed
19. Fall on your knees // Oh hear the angel voices!
20. Oh when the snowman brings the snow // well, he just might like to know // he's put a great big smile on somebody's face.
21. We're here tonight, and that's enough
22. This lovely music went trembling through the ground // And many were wakened on hearing that sound
23. I don't want a lot for Christmas // There's just one thing I need
24. Although it's been said many times, many ways
25. Wish I was at home for Christmas
26. Yesterday I saw your Mum and Dad // We bought our cards together
27. Run run reindeer // He don't miss no-one
28. You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear voices singing: "let's be jolly, deck the halls with boughs of holly"
29. Hear the angels join the choir, let them take the music higher.
30. You never know, it might snow tonight
31. I thought you were someone to rely on // Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
32. Good times we had return to haunt me // Though it's for you, all that I do seems to be wrong.
33. A silent wish sails the seven seas // The winds of change whisper in the trees // And the walls of doubt crumble tossed and torn
34. The hopes we had were much too high // Way out of reach but we have to try
35. I'm so sorry for that laddie // He hasn't got a daddy
36. They're singing "Deck the Halls" // But it's not like Christmas at all
37. Snow is falling, all around me // Children playing, having fun
38. Oh my love we've lived in troubled days // Oh my friend we have the strangest ways
39. Open your eyes, look to the skies when you're lonely
40. ... is very far through the snow

EDIT: Answers are here.